The nine most irritating aesthetic annoyances in football today

Never knowingly whistled by a milkman.

Probability of winning

A stinky new addition to the broadcast furniture, powered by Oracle Cloud, winners of this year’s sweepstakes for the most dystopian company name. Occasionally flashes in the upper left corner of your screen when grimacing commenters mention it.

Official Premier League literature says this percentage is powered by years of data and hundreds of thousands of simulations of the match in progress. Among other things, it takes into account who is home and away, the time left in the game and, get this, the current score. Anyone else feeling a little let down by the AI ​​revolution?

Incorrect three letter score chart acronyms

If you have to think about it for more than a second, something is wrong. Some offenders from this weekend’s episode of Colin Murray’s EFL Goal Bonanza: BAL, BRR, PTV, BRD. An NFL franchise, a sound you make when you’re cold, and two dodgy stocks you invest in on a whim, which ultimately led to your home being repossessed.

It is not necessary to bastardize Bristol Rovers in BRR. We know it’s Rovers and not City because they play at Stevenage, they’re in the blue and white quarters and Joey Barton is legally allowed in the ground. We need a standardized list here, like the NATO phonetic alphabet.

Round Sponsors

Vile. Unlike main sponsors, they have never upgraded a kit. The second drip in the drip, drip, drip that will eventually turn football shirts into Formula 1 cars, with worse DRS. It’s the drag reduction system, not the Doncaster Rovers.

Unnecessary displacement kits

While we are on kits, we must admit defeat in the Home Shirt Wars at all times unless a change is required. It’s good, we accept that there is merchandise for sale, uncle Adidas needs a new pair of diamond shin guards.

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